语录 #3

Quotations from The Quotations Page

Steven Wright:

“There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”

Jerry Garcia:

“Somebody has to do something, and it’s just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us.”

Erich Fromm:

“Man’s main task is to give birth to himself.”

William Hazlitt:

“Men of genius do not excel in any profession because they labor in it, but they labor in it because they excel.”

Jack London:

“You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.”

Benjamin Franklin:

“Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none.”

Grace Murray Hopper:

“A ship in port is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for.”

Robert Heinlein:

“Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.”

Henry David Thoreau:

“What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on?”

George Santayana:

“Sanity is a madness put to good use.”

Clare Booth Luce:

“Censorship, like charity, should begin at home; but, unlike charity, it should end there.”

Douglas Adams:

“I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.”

Edward De Bono:

“Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.”

Harlan Ellison:

“The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.”

Henrik Tikkanen:

“Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence.”

Bob Hope:

“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.”

Sam Brown:

“Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.”

John Ciardi:

“You don’t have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.”

Horace Walpole:

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.”

Jack Benny:

“I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either.”

Arthur Brisbane:

“A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling.”

John Wayne:

“Talk low, talk slow, and don’t talk too much.”

Frank Moore Colby:

“Every improvement in communication makes the bore more terrible.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson:

“We do what we must, and call it by the best names.”

Edwin Schlossberg:

“The skill of writing is to create a context in which other people can think.”

Bruce Cockburn:

“The trouble with normal is it always gets worse.”

Malcolm Forbes:

“Ability will never catch up with the demand for it.”

Robert Benchley:

“A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.”

From “Taxi”

“The great thing about television is that if something important happens anywhere in the world, day or night, you can always change the channel.”

Woody Allen:

“You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.”

Peter De Vries:

“It is the final proof of God’s omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.”

Jose Simon:

“In Mexico we have a word for sushi: Bait.”

G. K. Chesterton:

“Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.”

George Bush:

“I have opinions of my own — strong opinions — but I don’t always agree with them.”

Marcel Proust:

“The only paradise is paradise lost.”

Farmers’ Almanac:

“To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.”

Thomas H. Huxley:

“Try to learn something about everything and everything about something.”

Eugene McCarthy:

“Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it’s important.”

David Letterman:

“Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.”

Dave Barry:

“Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.”

Norman Brenner:

“The intermediate stage between socialism and capitalism is alcoholism.”

Wilson Mizner:

“God help those who do not help themselves.”

Samuel Johnson:

“A man may be so much of everything that he is nothing of anything.”

Mogens Jallberg:

“In democracy its your vote that counts; In feudalism its your count that votes.”

Robert Frost:

“Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length.”

Steven Wright:

“You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?”

Matthew Prior:

“They always talk who never think.”

Robert Benchley:

“Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.”

Clarence Darrow:

“When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President. Now I’m beginning to believe it.”

Thomas Pickering:

“In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known.”

Dan Quisenberry:

“The future is much like the present, only longer.”

Harry Shearer:

“If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure? “

H. G. Wells:

“Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.”

posted: 2004/11/27
under: 书香剑气, 大杂烩