If You Open Your Mind Too Much Your Brain Will Fall Out

Friendly Atheist 放出了 Tim Minchin 的一首歌曲:
If You Open Your Mind Too Much Your Brain Will Fall Out

除了赞叹运气运的好之外,歌词也让人喷饭:

If anyone can show me one example in the history of the world of a single Psychic who has been able to prove under reasonable experimental conditions that they are able to read minds

And if anyone can show me one example in the history of the world of a single Astrologer who has been able to prove under reasonable experimental conditions that they can predict future events by interpreting celestial signs

And if anyone can show me one example in the history of the world of a single Homeopathic Practitioner who has been able to prove under reasonable experimental conditions that solutions made of infinitely tiny particles of good stuff dissolved repeatedly into relatively huge quantities of water has a consistently higher medicinal value than a similarly administered placebo

And if anyone can show me one example in the entire history of the world of a single Spiritual or religious person who has been able to show either empirically or logically the existence of a higher power with any consciousness or interest in the human race or ability to punish or reward humans for their moral choices or that there is any reason – other than fear – to believe in any version of an afterlife

I’ll give you my piano, one of my legs, and my wife

试翻译如下:

如果有任何人能够告诉我古今中外有哪个通灵师在合理的实验中证明其可以读心

如果有任何人能够告诉我古今中外有哪个占星术士在合理的实验中证明其占星术可以预测未来

如果有任何人能够告诉我古今中外有哪个顺势疗法医师在合理的实验中证明其将有效成分在大量水中一遍又一遍稀释之后得到的包含无穷小药物颗粒的配方始终比安慰剂更有疗效

如果有任何人能够告诉我古今中外有哪个教会或宗教人士已经通过经验的或逻辑的证据证明存在一个有意识的或对人类感兴趣的或有能力惩罚和奖赏他们的道德选择的更高级的存在要么则是证明有其他任何理由——除了恐惧之外——相信有来生

我将送给你我的钢琴
加一条腿
以及我老婆

在官方站点可以下载这首歌

OMI

OMI=Open Mind Index,由 Musickum 根据 Last.Fm 提供的数据进行统计分析得出的“音乐开放指数”,基本上听歌的风格越杂,该指数就会越高。

我的指数只有126…

而目前的平均指数是94.48:

中国大陆的用户 OMI 平均指数是103.32,台湾是91.96,香港则是87.39。

更多统计结果见我的统计页面

和谐之歌

Monty Python 是个神奇的团体,演了几部神奇的电视剧和电影,也附带创作了几十首神奇的歌。这首《I bet you they won’t play this song on the radio》就是我最喜欢的之一,歌词原文和翻译如下:

I bet you they won’t play this song on the radio
I bet you they won’t play this new (bleep) song
It’s not that it’s (bleep) or (bleep) controversial
It’s just that the (bleep)ing words are awfully strong
You can’t say (bleep) on the radio
Or (bleep) or (bleep) or (bleep)
You can’t even say I’d like to (bleep) you someday
Unless you’re a doctor with a really large (bleep)
So I bet you they won’t play this song on the radio
I bet you they don’t (bleep)ing well program it
I bet you those (bleep)ing old program directors
Will think it’s a load of horse (bleep)

我和你打赌他们不会在广播上播放这首歌,
我和你打赌他们不会放这首新(消音)歌。
不是因为它的(消音)或(消音)有争议,
只因为那些(消音)的单词口味实在太重。
你不能在广播节目中提到(消音),
或(消音)或(消音)或(消音)。
你甚至不能说哪天我想(消音)你,
除非你是有超级大(消音)的医生。
所以我和你打赌他们不会在广播上播放这首歌,
我和你打赌他们不会(消音)的好好安排节目。
我和你打赌那些老(消音)的节目导演
会把它当作一堆马(消音)。

因为胸中涌动的不良思想,所以把原歌词改成了下面的版本,节奏韵律方面不敢保证,语法能够不出错就谢天谢地了。

I bet you they won’t stop the G-F-W
I bet you they won’t show the (bleep) to you
It’s not that it’s (bleep) or (bleep) controversial
It’s just that the (bleep) words are disharmonious
You can’t say (bleep) on the blog
Or (bleep) or (bleep) or (bleep)
You can’t even say it will (bleep) you someday
Unless you’re a brother with three big (bleep)
So I bet you they won’t stop the G-F-W
I bet you they won’t tell you the (bleep) truth
I bet you the (bleep) good strong big brother
Will think you’re too simple and somtimes (bleep)

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